Category Archives: Humor

Bin Laden Sighted In Karachi; May Turn Self In

Reports of Osama Bin Laden’s whereabouts took a new turn this week when a Pakistani woman reported sighting a tall man in a white robe with matching turban hit his head on a low doorway. The woman’s suspicions about the identity of the man were further aroused when she noticed the entrance led to a […]

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Bill Gates to Devote Life To Charity; Make Money And You Can, Too

Bill Gates announced that he will transition out of his day-to-day role at Microsoft by July 2008 in order to spend more time working on the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which focuses on global health and education. His announcement reminded us of the plethora of graduation speeches that eager students imbibed across the land […]

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Bill Clinton In Secret Talks With Hillary; Agrees To Run For Vice President

Former President Bill Clinton has been holding secret talks with his wife and wannabe President Hillary and has, the rumor mill informs us, agreed to be her Vice Presidential candidate. In an exclusive interview, he confided, “Even though I want to help Hillary in every way I can, it wasn’t an easy decision. After all, […]

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Berlosconi Gets Plate of Spaghetti In Face

Silvio Berlusconi, the media tycoon who became the outspoken, conservative Prime Minister of Italy, was recently handed an electoral plate of spaghetti in the face. As you no doubt have read, he lost a narrow race to a left-of-center challenger, who the deep-pocketed Berlusconi outspent many times over. Although Berlusconi continues to contest the vote, […]

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Beginners Guide To The Internet

Recent studies have shown that there are now well over one hundred websites available on the computernet. This puts it second only to ceefax as a useful source of information. Monkey Empire has rounded up the best of these sites, ones which enhance the life of real people like you, not the spotty bearded freaks […]

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Avant Garde Composer Creates New Piece, Called Making Popcorn

An American avant garde composer, who takes his inspiration from the most upstart composers of recent times, had a piece performed last night at Carnegie Hall, titled “Making Popcorn.” The Boston Pops Orchestra, which commissioned the piece, left the stage to make way for the performance. Stagehands then wheeled out a popcorn-making machine and prepared […]

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